Written by Joan Wesakulila 2011-11-25 15:37:00 Read 983 Times

Have you ever asked yourself what marriage is? If not, I have an answer for you. Marriage according to the Oxford advanced learners dictionary is the legal relationship between a husband and a wife.

The Bible regards marriage as holy and in its own, a covenant between man and wife that should not be broken. Others say marriage is a life time commitment where whether in good or bad situations one has to persevere. The definitions vary as others would term it as a social union or legal contract between people that creates kinship.

It can be an institution too which interpersonal relationships, usually intimate and sexual, are acknowledged in a variety of ways, depending on the the culture or subculture in which it is found.

Marriages were considered holy and marriages through weddings were very much respected in society and the union through weddings was termed as matrimony.

Gone are the days when marriage was given priority and respected a lot in society. Nowadays it has become a hide and seek game where individuals misuse and abuse it at will.

Sadly marriages have been abused and more painful is that the marriages were through weddings in churches where couples have come out and quit citing reasons that push them do so.

Others have made it a trial and error where when life gets tough they abandon their spouses and sink in the worldly pleasures.

 In a recent incident a Ms Nanjala (not her real name) from Bungoma County decided to get married and after two weeks into the marriage, she sought permission from her husband to go visit the parents and relatives at home something that was unheard of in yester years when one would get married in the Bukusu community unless she was pregnant and was going to deliver.

The husband who is dedicated  down to earth and understanding does not hesitate  and at any given point he does not think of the lady who is madly in love with him may fail to return back to him after visiting her family and marking the end of their young union.

While talking to the man in an exclusive interview and who sought anomity said “my wife and I had agreed to settle down and whatever prompted me to allow her go back to her people must have been a big blow to his marriage.”

Earlier before the man claims a certain lady who was also the girlfriend on hearing that the man had settled down with Ms Nanjala came up with threats saying that she was also coming to stay claiming the man had impregnated.

He has since denied those allegations.

He says the brothers on behalf of the parents through the lady want him to visit their home before they are allowed to settle into marriage.

The man full of anger now says the big question is whether the lady was serious in her decision of getting married  or she was pushed to the wall by her instincts that later failed her?

As he stares up in the sky like he is yet to say a prayer to the heavenly father to return back his wife he is quick to say that the family of her wife needs to understand that education, finance is not everything in marriage but rather divine intervention of the Lord and realization that marriage is all life time commitment that entails one to really seek what he wants in life.

The question here is where the beautifull marriages go to did and what measures can be put in place to restore the sanity that used to exist.

The issue is before people are involved in a relationship engaged and married to each other there needs to be a thorough scrutiny to avoid regrets and problems that may later arise.

What one needs to know is in-case of any mis-understanding in an existing marriage people should not rush into divorce thinking that it is the solution to every of their burden.

Before one enters in a union let him or her realize that problems are part of life and should not expect smooth lines all through their marriage.

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