In the past, women were so preserved and had something important that they always kept intact for their future husbands, and that is their purity. They would do anything but wouldn’t dare mess with their purity. Those were the days when virginity was highly treasured and any woman who would treat it with contempt was harshly treated. Contrary to the present day when the rumour rents the air that a certain lady, so and so is still sexually pure, many will be left wagging their tongues in dismay and shock.
Let’s get to the point now. Many men will agree with me that nowadays women have nothing ‘special’ for their future husbands. According to Derrick, a resident in Kanduyi constituency, Bungoma County, women presently do not have anything to show off in their matrimonial homes. “Most of them engage in premarital sex early on in life and before she reaches a prime age, she has nothing special to offer her husband to be” he notes.
He further adds that westernization and embracing of foreign culture have necessitated this. “They are exposed to media content that promotes premarital sex. Since most of them are experimental they follow the suit,” he adds.
It is worth noting that women have been brainwashed such that they believe that when one goes into marriage while ‘pure’ will be rendered conservative and rigid. “Nowadays we have to be aware of these issues before we plunge ourselves into marriage” notes Alice, a banker in Bungoma town. She further adds that today the main focus women have isn’t based on purity but rather on other aspects such as physical looks, education and character.
However, she points out that a section of women have taken advantage of the situation and gone to the extreme levels. “Culture is slowly changing and women have now taken advantage, this is why women date many men before settling down,” she adds.
Furthermore women empowerment and loss of family values has also made them go against the cultural value of purity. According to Jacqueline, a fourth-year law student at Maseno University, women empowerment has given women freedom to choose the path they want to take in their lives meaning they can choose not to get married. “We are living in an era that does not discriminate women if they aren’t married, as long as you are empowered,” she notes. She further adds that the shift in culture has helped a lot to tame male chauvinism and gender discrimination against women.
Furthermore, it’s not a surprise to find a woman in her college life cohabiting with four different men; and later she may cohabit with an older lover during her internship period. Then during her hustling life within four years, she has hooked up with another man. After she lands her job, she moves on with a new catch and later settles with him. The question is whether she will enjoy her marital life.
It is good for women to realize that self-discipline is an important key in life it doesn’t matter the culture you’re in whether educated, empowered or not.