There’s nothing that disturbs a man’s peace like an irresistible beautiful looking lady, who is also successful (some would call it intelligence). Some fear and are intimidated, and as the now famous Swahili moniker goes, ‘Watakula tu kwa macho’. This then begs the question, should men be stressed or intimidated by a woman’s intelligence or success? Some inferior men would undoubtedly say yes, but that has never existed in my vocabulary.
Unknown to many, a woman is just a woman, be it that village girl who hardly reached class three or the power woman as some would say, who have conquered the world with first class honours degrees in male-dominated careers working with reputable organisations. I know for a fact any woman reading through this article is giving me those knowing looks but truth be told my dear in seduction money, fame or class never comes to play. How many ladies out there had vowed to be tough to men in their early twenties only to be an easy prey for that shoe cobbler or ‘shamba boy’? According to Tracy, a third-year education student at Kibabii university, the wrong perception people, especially men, have towards successful women is ill informed. “Men should stop this negative perception towards beautiful and successful women, we are just normal human beings,” she says. She further adds that in most cases she has been branded a ‘bad girl’ title simply because her male counterpart students cannot catch up with her standards and time in class.
It is worth noting that men who have associated with tough women have shocking revelations. According to Derrick, a banker in Bungoma town, women need to be analyzed carefully before one makes any move. “Most women will agree with me that men who are patient enough to know their mates have high chances of winning them over,” he notes. He further adds that the crop of modern men who don’t have time to build the chemistry have found it hard to date these women simply because they can’t enter their mental frame. According to evolutionary psychology, women tend to be pragmatic when seeking a mate. That is they are likely to feel that love should develop slowly and to be cautious before jumping into a relationship, a less romantic attitude.
The evolutionary theory further states that women must be more selective when choosing mates because by biological necessity they must invest more as parents. This means that a more cautious, less romantic approach to love is more adaptive for women than it is for men and that women in our ancestral past who took the careful approach to love were more successful in passing along their genes, and thus their behavioral tendencies to future generations. Furthermore, women believe that men fail in their approach to women in the first place. “Some men fail from the point go, most of us are not interested in money or lavish life” notes Anne, a health practitioner in Busia County. She further adds that women have acquired enough material possession at the moment and what matters is how the potential mate will play his cards well. Her sentiments are echoed by Derrick who wonders why men toil themselves digging deep into their pockets like political aspirants, however, at the end, walks away empty handed. “Some of us didn’t spend even a single cent and yet we’ve dated very successful and beautiful ladies” he explains. To this end, men should dispel the fear that have always downplayed them and that their unrelenting efforts to woe women of their dreams.
Her sentiments are echoed by Derrick who wonders why men toil and use a lot of resources like political aspirants, however, at the end, walk away empty handed. “Some of us didn’t spend even a single cent and yet we’ve dated very successful and beautiful ladies,” he explains. To this end, men should dispel the fear that has always downplayed them.